Sculpture of Violence

by Giver

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1.
Night Season 03:48
Between the horrors of what’s dead and gone and the nightmares still to come, is there a glimmer or is hope just another drug we’re on? An elegy unsung into the barrel of a loaded gun. Is there a glimmer or is this the place where we belong? Chronic white noise of everything. The call of the void got me listening. Are we living in the bottom half of an hourglass with our mouth wide open? Are we both ship and sea of our own misery caught up in the motion? Back to the dark, back to the cold, back to my head. Back to what’s not dead yet. The violence lies in me fast asleep. Defiance of all that I aspire to be. There’s a black machine that ticks away in the shafts of my kin. The violence abides beneath my skin. Yeah, it abides beneath my skin. And it’s all the same. Sticks became swords became guns. It won´t subside. And they speak of you and they speak of me and their name’s divide. No one heals himself hurting somebody else. I don´t need your pain to feel safe in my skin. The violence lies in me fast asleep. Defiance of all that I aspire to be. There´s a black machine that ticks away in the shafts of my kin. The violence abides beneath my skin. Oh, the night that lives in me. Won't let its siren songs and malicious tongue turn me into the walking dead and lose my own head. I won’t let this be me.
2.
I´ve been around from the dusk till the first morning light tiptoeing my way through the veil of the night. I´ve been cutting corners hearing devilish lips. Better now to go bring on the crucifix. Heresy. Thick walls were built inside of me. The deathbed of possibility. Gotta climb till they are all debris Cause reality won´t fit in this philosophy. Shed my skin, thrust it into the dust, received the catechism of the righteous and just. But there´s a question unasked when these two worlds collide. Who´s the flesh and who´s the knife? Heresy creeps into me. There´s a trail of discontent between guilt and innocence. Everything is flammable. Everything is flammable. Cast out, what feeds division. Rid me of these mechanisms. Catharsis. Purgation. Exorcism. We gotta kindle the fire with the wood that we have. Then scatter the ashes till nothing is left of the house that was home to the person you were. You owe to no one and you belong nowhere. You sculpture of violence, you blade and the scar. Both rattling chains and compass you are your mother, your father, your daughter, your son. Every living creature under the sun. If you chose. Fuck sex. Fuck skin. Fuck nation. I wanna be my own creation. Fuck faith and old foundations. I wanna be my own creation.
3.
She said "I can´t take this no more." Dried her tears, closed the shanty door. Fourteen hour day and a floor to sleep. Sewing machine and a mother to three. I get up, turn and leave the scene. Pull the plug, close the laptop screen. What’s one to do about her living hell? I sigh, put on a Gildan shirt in L. No prosperity is innocent. All wealth has blood on its hands. Those in the shadows you do not see. The bright life is thievery. Cause I - Eat like an empire, wear like an empire, live this down like an empire. Breathe like an empire, move like an empire, Spend every fucking dime I ever earn like an empire. Eat like an empire, wear like an empire, read history like an empire. Breathe like an empire, move like an empire, Spend every fucking dime I ever earn like an empire. The world is a compass. Always heading North. And I love this like the British loved India and the whole hemisphere Latin America and Africa. It resounds. Relationships that wear you down. Cheap nature, compliance, bent power, slow violence. It’s the fire of our time. Every age has its dragons. Eat like an empire, wear like an empire, live this down like an empire. Breathe like an empire, move like an empire, Spend every fucking dime I ever earn like an empire. I am an empire. A walking empire.
4.
The day the earth washed over me Not the word of God but us, you see. Helpless, bare and twistable. I remember just how it felt to find the list of who'll care to help is me. The shatters I call self. Me. Me and no one else. Our mothers mercy´s not enough Always looking for what´s better than love. Breathless, dull, immovable. My generation is moribund If we don´t bite off the iron hands. We´re trapped between revolving doors. Our weals throb on this soul of mine I´m nothing but their wanton child. We´ve been chasing divinity. Doing okay. Doing okay. The wound still weeps inside of me. What can I say? Doing okay. All I am is circumstance. And acid rain. We´re currents in the same stream. Surfacing to breathe Surfacing to breathe Surfacing to breathe on my knees. The day the earth washed over me Not the word of God but us, you see. Our future was spilled on marble floors. So trapped between revolving doors. All I am is circumstance. And acid rain. We´re currents in the same stream. You don´t feel your chains if you don´t move. To say that I´m free to choose is as much a lie as it is the truth. Death exists in all of this.
5.
New Gods 02:38
There's a man who we all want to be. He lives in dreams on silver screens. Traded Gods and sagas for him. We all fight to feel relevant. If you like this, why don’t you buy that? There's a man who we all can't see. He puts a price on our empathy. Traded our relations to him. We all fight to feel relevant. Standardized. Certified. Maximized. Save me from my boring life. Cause everything feels empty here. Fill me up with cheap ideals. `Til the heat leaves my corpse. I feed on managers. I stomach stock-owners. I swallow technocrats. I gnaw on war-mongers. Standardized. Certified. Maximized. Save me from my boring life. Just don’t wanna let 'em turn this, my heart, into another place to swipe your credit card. Got no idea how the sun might look when you´ve grown up at night. 'Til the heat leaves my corpse. Always hungry for more. There's a man who I´d rather be. He lives in mirrors, not screens.
6.
Evil Is 03:15
(Evil is a way of Not-Thinking, Not-Feeling, Not-Relating.) I don´t know where to start. The death in your eyes, the painted smile tear me apart. Oh, I wouldn`t know what to do. With the grief, your pain and misery, your words as they explode in me. and I understand when all voices hush we gotta ask ourselves: Have we done enough? Have we done enough? Have we done enough? We all love what death can touch. And so did you. So did you. We all love what death can touch. And so did you. It's this ordinary thoughtlessness that makes the world cease to exist. This ordinary thoughtlessness that keeps me here condoning death. Blocked out. Fear carries the day. Blocked out. Won´t wither away. I´m sorry. I´m sorry. Oh, I wouldn´t know what to do. We all love what death can touch. And so did you. So did you. We all love what death can touch. And so did you. Tell me what evil is. What evil is. What evil is. Tell me what evil is.
7.
They say they’re the cry of the impoverished or the clenched fist of the misunderstood to guide ‘em through the night but I see crooks in disguise. Only demagogues who wanna wake me up and turn on the lights. But I just can’t remember going to sleep or closing my eyes. These words are rain on the fields of hate. On anguish and brimstone; there grows a dangerous plant. And the fruit it bears taste like despair and reeks of the old scent of insecurity. Preaching fear and dread Preaching fear and dread ‘Til fear goes from our face and anger takes its place instead. I am the light that breaks my night. Don`t need another Jesus Christ to open up my eyes. I am the light that self-ignites. Don't need another rhetorician to declare my condition. Hotbed of the cataclysm Lost somewhere in the algorithm. And all of this leaves you with a narrative with no alternative. These words are rain on the fields of hate. On anguish and brimstone there grows a dangerous plant. And the fruit it bears taste like despair and reeks of the old scent of insecurity and false unity that winds up to conformity. And if talking back won’t make them stop It comes down to these two things we´ve got. The ballot box. The ballot box. The ballot box Or the barricades. I don`t need guidance that sews my mouth shut. These words aren´t worth the ink. I don´t need saving.
8.
Can you remember the day that time stowed away? The first time they told you to dry your fucking tears. Can you recall what age you were? What was the time of year? Too young to understand when someone told you to To be a man. I got imitation dreams Of what I don´t want to be. Relish my privilege By dismantling it. Ah, by dismantling. It´s a war against your brothers and friends. Corrosion waits where the cycle breaks. It´s a war against the voice inside your head. Can you remember the day that time stowed away? The first time they told you to dry your fucking tears? Are you listening? Are you even listening? Unlearn yourself. Unlearn yourself. Are you listening? Are you even listening? Unlearn yourself. Unlearn to break your tenderness. Don´t break your tenderness Being a man. I got imitation dreams Of what I don´t want to be. Relish my privilege By dismantling it. It got to be dismantled. For you, for us, for me. Unlearn yourself. Unlearn to break your tenderness. Don´t break your tenderness. Don´t break your tenderness.
9.
To sleep when a storm looms. To live with the open wound. To wake as remorse stings. I can feel it coming. There is an obscure glow that splits my soul in two. One side's an animal, one wants to be like you. I am a nightcrawler yearning for routine. I call myself a loner while seeking company. I switch from side to side in phases. Never knew how fast their pace is. A fine line inside of me parting lust and bourgeoisie. Torn between a pleasured me and modern slavery. I switch from side to side in phases. It´s tearing me apart. Can you feel the tension? Can you feel the tension? How the animals' side is baring its teeth through mine? Can you feel the tension? Can you feel the tension? Your shelter unravels its prisons paradigm. When I get too attached to one way of counting time the sides collide like storms turning life to grime. Unnoticed gusts evolving into pain bearing winds. Blowing through my memories conjuring my oldest demons. Storms from the past have arrived in my head. In Their eyes it's silent. Into darkness I'll tread. Longing for death now. I can feel it coming.
10.
An old sound rings through the ages born out of a need for sameness. The rhythm of affiliation got me dancing, cause I´m not different. I was born into the noise. Born into the noise, yeah, that I can´t recognize no more. No more. No more. No more. Salvation is a harmony. Negation of the ringing inside me. The nets we spin to catch ourselves in burn out into the night. Make the smoke swallow me whole. Let the fire take control. From darkness to darkness. Built in the difference. Built in the difference. I´m built in the difference. Oh, we all dwell in the reference. From darkness to darkness. Built in the difference. Built in the difference. I´m built in the difference. Oh, we abide in the nexus. From darkness to darkness. From darkness to darkness to you. Cause you´re all that I'm not, still everything I've got. The predead and the postalive taught me how to unlive my life. Got that ringing in my ears. And it´s been ten thousand years. Ten thousand years. And we´ve changed nothing. I don’t know how evolution ends. If we`ll rise above our circumstance, take our pulse and wipe our tears. All I know, it’s been ten thousand years. Ten thousand years. Ten thousand years. Ten thousand years and we´ve changed nothing. Ten thousand years. Ten thousand years. If we really wanted peace we´d already got it.

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released February 7, 2020

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